this boner is exhausting
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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