The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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