Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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