Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize