do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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