he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize