Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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