i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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