Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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