wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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