At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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