bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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