I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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