alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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