am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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