It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
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I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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