well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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