This is not my ceiling
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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