Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize