I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize