it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
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There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize