is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize