I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Enjoy the penises
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