Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize