guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize