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EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i think i have herpe
just one?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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