i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize