think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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