The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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