It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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