Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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