oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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