And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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