I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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