Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize