Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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