remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
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You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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