I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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