your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize