I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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