Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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