Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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