i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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