he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize