next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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