How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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