More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize