So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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