walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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