I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just gargled with NyQuil
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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